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Relationship Spectrum
Healthy Relationship Spectrum
Healthy
Unhealthy
Abusive
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Communicating: You talk openly about problems and listen to one another. You respect each other’s opinions.
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Respectful: You value each other as you are.
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Trusting: You believe what your partner has to say. You do not feel the need to “prove” each other’s trustworthiness.
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Honest: You are honest with each other, but can still keep some things private.
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Equal: You make decisions together and hold each other to the same standard.
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Enjoying personal time: You enjoy spending time apart, alone or with others. You respect each other’s need for time apart.
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Making mutual sexual choices: You talk openly about sexual and reproductive choices together. All partners willingly consent to sexual activity and can safely discuss what you are and are not comfortable with.
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Economic/financial partners: You and your partner have equal say with regard to finances. All partners have access to the resources they need.
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Engaging in supportive parenting: All partners are able to parent in a way they feel comfortable with. You communicate together about the needs of the child(ren), as well as the needs of the parents.
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Not communicating: When problems arise, you fight or you don’t discuss them at all.
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Disrespectful: One or more partners is not considerate of the other(s).
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Not trusting: One partner doesn’t believe what the other says, or feels entitled to invade their privacy.
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Dishonest: One or more partners tell lies.
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Trying to take control: One partner feels their desires and choices are more important.
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Only spending time with your partner: Your partner’s community is the only one you socialize in.
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Pressured by the other into sexual activity: One partner uses pressure or guilt on the other to have sex or do anything sexual at any point.
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Ignoring a partner’s boundaries: It is assumed only one partner is responsible for making informed decisions.
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Unequal economically: Finances are not discussed, and/or it is assumed only one partner is in charge of finances.
Source: www.thehotline.org
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Communicates in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting or demeaning.
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Mistreats the other: One partner does not respect the feelings, thoughts, decisions, opinions or physical safety of the other.
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Accuses the other of cheating or having an affair when it’s not true: The partner who accuses may hurt the other in a physical or verbal way as a result.
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Denies that the abusive actions are abuse: An abusive partner may try to blame the other for the harm they’re doing, or makes excuses for abusive actions or minimizes the abusive behavior.
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Controls the other: There is no equality in the relationship. One partner makes all decisions for the couple without the other’s input.
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Isolates the other partner: One partner controls where the other one goes and whom they talk to. They may isolate their partner from family and friends.
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Forces sexual activity or pregnancy: One partner forces the other to have sex, or do anything they don’t want to do sexually at any point. In relationships where pregnancy is a physical possibility, one partner may force the other to become pregnant.
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Exerts economic control: One partner controls the money and access to resources. Having an open dialogue about finances is not an option. This may include preventing a partner from earning an income or not allowing a partner access to their own income.